The People of the Waterfronts waited patiently in their Parliamentary Hall for the appointed time to begin deliberations. As they waited, they ruminated in their minds the silly ways of the People of the City. They have been so immersed in ignorance that they hardly understand things that even a child would understand without difficulty.
Take for example the issue of the water and its sides and fronts and back. The People of the Waterfronts know that they are the People of the Waterfronts. The People of the City continuously confuse them with the People of the Watersides. Well, that is their business or rather, their lack of understanding or ignorance. It is mindboggling that a set of people finds it difficult to understand the difference between the Waterfronts and the Watersides. Unlike the People of the City however, the People of the Waterfronts know that there exists the People of the Watersides, just as there are the People of the Waterbacks. They know that the water has sides and back, just as it has the front. After all, what is so difficult in the fact that what has a front would have a back? Or that what has front and back would also have sides? But this is too much for the brains of the People of the City to bear. They have so much corruption to tend to and had no room to reason properly.
In the midst of the ruminations of the People of the Waterfronts, the appointed time came and the Oldman of the Waterfronts got up to call on the ancestors to take charge of the deliberations.
He stretched his left hand and picked up the bottle of the local white brew. His right hand picked up the little glass cup and he filled it and began his call on the ancestors.
“Odumodu, great ancestor of the People of the Waterfronts, he who dwells at the domain between the land and the sea, take and drink. There is so much confusion in the City. Who else but you can wade through the mire of confusion in the City and restore sanity? Take and drink and help redirect the derailed minds of the People of the City.
“Odumodu, he who makes his presence felt at every promontory by the People of the Waterfronts, your descendants, we do not accuse you, but you know that it was your altruistic deed that engendered the heap of corruption in the City. At the time of your departure to the inner worlds, you drained your blood, turned your bones into mangroves, your flesh into mud, and buried your precious blood beneath them. You knew it would be the oil of every industry and an essential commodity to sustain and make life more meaningful and comfortable for your people, the People of the Waterfronts. However, you did not provide watchmen over it and the greedy People of the City chanced on it, pounced on it and trounced themselves with it. There misuse of your well-intentioned love has created monsters for them, the notable one now being the species called Boko Haram. No day passes without blood being spilled on the streets, homes and churches. And what is their grouse? Every Muslim must be Sharia-compliant. Every Nigerian must be a Muslim. The nation must be ruled by an Islamic government. They want to achieve this mirage by fighting, strangling, cutting, shooting and bombing. Strange, for a species allegedly winning converts for a loving and merciful God! Wallahi, it is not fair.
“Odumodu, we your descendants make bold to say that the real reason is the frustrated attempt by their mentors to clinch the coveted position of leading the nation and enriching themselves with the proceeds of your precious blood which they ignorantly nicknamed ‘crude oil’! Take and drink.
“Otumo-Ogugu, Favourite of the Maidens, he who goes in and out of the Maidens, exposing the unfaithful ones, take and drink. It was you that initiated that colourful ceremony that compelled men to wash and rub and powder beautiful damsels sitting on high tables and being carried shoulder high to several places in continuation of the spiritual bathe. You have tasted all and now allow the remnants for mortals to savour. We implore you to help restore sanity in the confused minds of the People of the City. Take and drink.
“Osokolo, another Favourite of the Maidens, he who pursues the Maidens out of the Waterfronts after Otumo-Ogugu has inspected all of them. It was not because you were jealous of Otumo-Ogugu. No, never. It was because they have a duty to perform at home and delay would be dangerous. Take, drink and join your co-ancestors.”
The Oldman of the Waterfronts refilled the little glass cup at the end of his libation and upturned it into his mouth. He allowed the bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup to go round the hall. A glassful went down the throats of all.
“People of the Waterfronts, I greet you all”. Arukulo, the man who says he is always at the front of the canoe, got up to say, after he was allowed to take the floor.
“We all heard what Grandpa stated as he served our ancestors. Indeed, there is confusion in the City. I agree with him. Nothing so engenders confusion as corruption. Just imagine that youths in their teens were involved in the hostage taking and subsequent killing of two Europeans after being held for months and after payment of a whopping one million pounds! Odumodu! What is happening? No wonder Musa Inuwa, an indigene of Adamawa State, has to climb up a mast at the federal high court, Abuja premises, threatening to jump down and kill himself, if the Turaki of Adamawa, former vice president Abubakar Atiku refuses to pay him the sum of N15m he allegedly owed him for construction work he did for him. Oh, yes, if people would just seize their fellow human beings and receive an equivalent of N250m, why can’t he be paid the paltry sum for a job honestly done? Go ahead Musa Inuwa, you have the right to kill yourself. After all, there is no law against suicide. It is only when you fail to die after jumping down that you will realize that your life is sacred and is owned partly by the state”.
Immediately he sat down, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts, got up and spoke.
“People of the Waterfronts, corruption is afloat in the City. It has been submerged for a long time and has outgrown the water in which it was dipped. Have you all heard about the pension scheme of the People of the City? As old and decrepit pensioners fall and faint and die in queues, some people gather their dues in billions of naira and stack them in their homes. Amazing People of the City! They have gathered so much naira at the detriment of several old men and women that they do not know where to store them again. The worst part is that when a pension reform task team was formed to trace where the billions of naira were stacked, the head of the team, Mr. Abdulrasheed Maina quietly took eight billion of the stacked billions of naira as his own reformation. Odumodu! Talk of sending a thief to probe a thief! Grandpa please help me”.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts understood and the bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup moved to him.
Angaladikibo, the Watcher of the Mangroves, got up to speak. “People of the Waterfronts, I sit here every week, discussing the silly ways of the People of the City for nothing. Do you know that some people sit for few hours or even minutes for about four or five or a maximum of eight times in a year and consume billions of naira? The sitting allowance of board members in a year runs into N4.8bn. Here am I, sitting for nothing, discussing the inanities of the People of the City. How about the House of the so-called Representatives of the people? In every four months each of them would receive N27m. This is in spite of the fuel subsidy brouhaha and the reduction of pay issue that the executive promised. It is true, as the Creek road market woman observed, “some bottoms follow other bottoms into this world just to clap for them!”
However, People of the Waterfronts, that is not why I got up to speak. After all, the Odidigborigbo of Delta region, the one and only James Ibori, was declared innocent by the learned gentlemen of the City here. Yet the same innocent man went into a strange land and when they held his throat, he quickly pleaded guilty to the very crimes he was pronounced innocent of, here. Who does not know that many waters passed beneath the bridge before he was pronounced innocent here?
“People of the waterfronts, I am standing here to tell you of another case of Daboh and Tarka playing out at the Securities and Exchange Commission, SEC. You remember how Godwin Daboh Adzuana (May his soul rest in peace) and Joseph Tarka accused each other? The scene is being replayed at the SEC. You all remember also the song of the late legend Fela Anikulapo Kuti, “You be thief, I no be thief. You be armed robber, I no be armed robber.” As the committee of the House of Reps probes the D.G. SEC, Ms. Arunma Oteh of spending N30m on hotel accommodation in eight months, spent N850, 000 on feeding in one day, she too has accused the chairman of the House committee of demanding a N44m bribe.”
As Angaladikibo sat down, the Oldman of the Waterfronts filled the little glass cup and washed out the corrupt news. ###
By Kenneth Amabipi
0803 668 7846
Email: kennymaps@yahoo.co.uk
