One of the biggest mistakes that many young people make these days is to rush into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone you want to marry as a result, they land crash immediately after their wedding.
In some traditional African society, before a man will set out to marry a wife, the father or the family member of the man will send some people to go and investigate the background of the girl in question whether the mother of the girl is the faithful type, humble, respect her husband, industrious, whether there are certain sicknesses that run in the family, whether such family is under a curse etc.
Likewise to the father of the girl, before a man will yes to the proposal come from any man seeking the hand of the girl in marriage, the family or father will first of all do serious findings about the young man’s family whether the man is hard working to properly care of his daughter or not, whether the family have sound background for his daughter to stand on, all of things is taken into consideration before a man will accept the proposal of his daughter.
It is the family that looks for a husband for the daughter, and when the husband which is the choice of the father is seen, the daughter has no say than to accept the offer. “The Joys of the Mother” written by Buchi Emecheta, Pg 38, “After Nnu Ego broke up with her first husband, her father chose for her, a second husband from Owulum family Nnaife Owulum, a man who works and resides at Lagos. So you can see that even though her second husband was the choice of her father, she still have a successful marriage.
But nowadays, young people even without properly investigation will just accept any man of their choice and run into unseen family background problems.
One beautiful thing about courtship is that it allows you to study your partner for sometime before setting out for marriage. But even at that, if he cannot open up about certain issues of his life.
Some people came from a very terrible (curse) family even in courtship, they will not tell the truth about their family because the issue of love is the music of the day, “I love and wouldn’t want to him”.
Foundation matters a lot, it can make and mar you, so when you are taking a step to conclude in marriage, know what you are about to stand on, it is very important. Leave love aside, with faulty foundation cannot stand the test of time.
Your past can be of important to build a good relationship, if you can be opened to your partner. That you experience some unpleasant past and you will want to hide it to maintain relationship, the polluted can will be opened when you least expected and your marriage you were zealously protecting by concealing your secret past will be off the line. It better you open up your past to your partner. He who loves you will still accept your ugly past. But if a man will not stay, even with the sweet and wonderful past of yours, will still go to where his mind is.
That you have a failed past yesterday does not conclude your future, you can still experience a better today.
There are still some men who can still want to be with you and help you to forget the mess of yesterday, and if such men are played on into marriage, later know that you conceal your past to marriage them, it become a blow to them and will quit before you know what is happening. Ladies, be careful.
Friday Nse Edith
08025293937
