Marriage by simple definition is the union between a man and a woman.
There are many types of marriage ranging from monogamy, polygamy to polyandry amongst others. However, the basic aim of such union is procreation. In Nigeria, the women move from her traditional home to join the man. Without gainsaying, the challenge faced by the women after marriage cannot be ignored as it has affected their psychology and overall performance in society. It is therefore important to deal with the issues precisely beaming our searchlight on the following:
Premarital Decision: more than 80% of women go into marriage with the pre-conceive idea that the men would take care of them. This pre-marital decision mostly comes from our cultural and religious beliefs. But practically, the lack, hardship and denial women go through in their homes mean more for a change.
The virtuous woman is a contradiction here because she was wealthy and gave to liberate her society from poverty. She harnessed her God-given talents to add value to people’s lives. In Africa traditional setting, the woman is asked to sit at home as if she has nothing to contribute to society. Infact, the idea to wholly depend on the men kills their power to be idealistic, creative, innovative, competitive and contributive. Marriage is not meant to enslave anyone but a joint venture that should make a man and a woman solve the problems of the society and not just that of the family.
Living in bondage: How do you feel as a woman asking a man for money everyday? It is so dehumanizing that a woman cannot pay her fifty naira transport fare, charge her phone, do her hair or pick a bottle of soft drink except she waits for the man to give her money. No right thinking person will feel fulfilled begging for those items. Most times, the women are humiliated and even denied for these items when asked from their husbands. How will you feel as a woman when you cannot solve your own, siblings or parents’ problem? Every man would wish to exhaust what is on his own scale of preference before looking elsewhere, solving another person’s problem. So every woman needs her own resource to bridge alot of gaps in the society.
Education: Time have changed, unlike in our traditional society where education was difficult to assess and women stayed at home for their husbands to provide everything. Today, education is a common commodity and most women have gained economic and psychological freedom out of it. This suggests that the belief of going into marriage for the man to provide everything is a misleading, deceit and not the truth. Any educated and wealthy woman who fails to respect the husband does not know what marriage is all about and cannot enjoy the blessings of marriage. What makes a man a leader in the marriage is his ideas or mental strength which the woman needs to move forward in all areas of life.
Notably, the challenge women face in marriage has reduced their performance and participation in politics, business and other areas of life. Therefore, women should be independent and not dependent before they go into marriage so as to have a sense of fulfillment, freedom as well contribute their quota to the development of the family institution and the society at large. ###
Edith Nse Friday
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