Who is an alternate mother? To what extent can alternate mothers go? Where can we find alternates? These are some of the questions that come to mind when talking about substituting alternate mothers with the real mothers?
It is a commonplace to find that in many homes, a maid is saddled with the responsibility of the lives of tender and growing children who are still in their formative years. This action is often cover up under the excuse of belonging to the working class.
In time past, the primary responsibility of the women were to look after the homefront, only few families employed the services of househelps and these househelps were blood related either to the husband or wife. In those good days, women took care of the children while the men went out to work in order to provide food and other necessities of life for the family. Men were basically breadwinners of their individual families then.
In short, in most African homes, there was nothing like housemaid (alternate mother). What was obtained then was communal assistance to nursing mothers in their domestic chores. Today, the situation has changed due to civilization and harsh economic realities which made it difficult for men to adequately provide for their families and which demands that women should complement the income of the family, women now engaged in productive ventures to support their families.
In some cases, women are even the breadwinners because their husbands are either dead, out of employment or are weaken by one sickness or the other.
Since women now go out to work, it becomes necessary that somebody must stand in for them while they are at work.
The idea of hiring a maid to look after your child may sound good because it gives you comfortable and convenient but there is a pattern of life that real mothers follow which an alternate mothers (maids) cannot emulate. To an alternate mother, caring for a child is mere feeding baby and changing the diapers. There is no sacrificial love involved. A mother will gently overcome difficulties under which an alternate mother will sink because of impatience, lack of courage and perseverance.
When mothers transfer the training of their children to the maids, these little ones are made to grow up uncultured.
The fake mother in King Solomon days, not being the real mother would not mind to have the living child killed because she not did not come from her loins. No real mother would go for such option.
Many women have suffered the loss of children to infidels or satanic agents who were employed as maids. Such innocent children consequently get uncultured character because they took after the character of the maid that was employed to take care of them. At other times, some wicked and heartless maids have ill-treated, poisoned, drowned or frozen babies just because they felt disturbed by these babies. Some baby girls are left under the watch eyes of male house helps, only for these depraved males to fumble with these baby girls and leave them sexually abused. Worse still, serious damage has been done to the character of some innocent children who were made to learn to do evil, steal, curse, disobey and misbehave simply because they were left for the greater part of their childhood, with uncultured househelps during their formative years.
Dear mother, please beware your children have an indisputable right to you and you should be available for them. Rise up to your God given duty, atleast, you willingly agree to be a wife and consequently a mother when gave your hand in marriage. An alternate mother can never be like the real mother. Your children need you most in the formative years. Even when you have to keep a job, manage a business or pursue a career, still make yourself available for your children. ##
Edith Nse Friday
08025293937
fridaynse@yahoo.com
