Last week we discussed about how you can make a girl like you. This week, we intend to let you know that the fundamental thing for you to do is to learn how to love. We believe that once you know how to love, then love will automatically be drawn to you. Funny enough, unlike other things, love is something you must give out if you want it in return.
It is difficult to define love, though we all feel it. It is an action and an experience. Somehow, it covers compassion, endurance, tolerance, patience, support, faith and many others. You alone can determined how to go about it.
Not Just Romance: Don’t assume that love is just a matter of romance. It is definitely more than that. It is something that moves you with sweet sensation, emotion with others, or with the thing you are involved in. It is a deep feeling for somebody, or something. It is shared between people, be it parents, children, siblings, spouses, friends, neighbours, dates and entire life.
Love is in the thing that you do passionately, be it your work, hobby and is there when you are most creative.
Love is never restricted. Even strangers have a share of it, including nature and it never fails to excite the giver and the receiver. It is not a tool to imprison another or to hold another hostage. It is not just an expression of sexual pleasure or control or a tool to compel others to your views. Love gives freedom and that is why it is uplifting. It binds two people together when the receiver reciprocates it.
Love yourself first: – There is no way you can love someone else or make someone to love you, if you don’t love yourself. It is not possible. That will be like someone taking care of another person when that someone is incapable of taking care of his/her own self. To love yourself first is not necessarily to put yourself first in all dealings with others. It means having self-respect and discipline, knowing what you really like and is good for you and spending quality time on it. You don’t put yourself down or compare yourself with others. You will be confident of yourself and will be free to love others.
Demonstrate It: Love, experts say, is a matter of demonstration. It is carefully cultivated and shows in our actions towards our object of love. When you are devoted, considerate, respectful and thoughtful of others, you are showing love and it never fails to attract others to yourself. A little kindness now and then will demonstrate a care for others that would be recognized and appreciated. It is also necessary, apart from actions, to always verbally say “I love you to someone you truly love. It is a magical statement. “I love you,” when sincerely stated, touches the mind of the person it is referred to, be it your parents, your child, sibling, friends and others. Words like, ‘You mean a great deal to me,’ ‘You inspire me,’ ‘You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known,’ ‘ I am a better person for having known you,’ ‘You are like a sunshine in my life,’ always evoke feeling of love in the other.
It is unconditional: – Remember not to love just because you want something in return. Love for the sake of love and you will reap abundant love in return. It must be unconditional. Love should flow naturally from you. You must really have the interest of the other person in your heart. If it is a case of trying to get something from the other, then, it is not real love. Of course, it does not mean you have to be a doormat for all to march upon, just because you want to love. Have your dignity and remove your expectation from the loved one. The person may not love you back in exactly the same way you gave your love. Everybody has his or her own way of giving or showing love. You must give freedom for the other to demonstrate his or her love for you in his or her own way.
Point to note: If you want your lover to do something and you are not sure he or she will be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal.
Kenneth Amabipi
