We can pretend that life is a bed of roses; that our every endeavour shall be a success, and that everything would work out as we planned. Brethren and sisters, we all wish we had a genie.
But that is just wishful really, if beggars were horses, wishes would ride, or something like that, any way the truth is this is life and she is a cruel wife, there are no beds of roses, at least not in Nigeria. People fail and the only place I have seen a genie is in Aladdin, in other words? Get real!
Until the time comes-I am talking about the time we hear religions preach about- paradise, YES! everlasting life, and all the other creeds we hear about, we have to-share a roof or depending on your status quo a mansion with this cruel but also sometimes loving wife. So how can you get the best out of this alliance? Read the next paragraph slowly and carefully because it will not help at all.
All right, so I guess you are alive or you would not be reading this, you probably are at a stage in life where you have problems ranging from a few to millions depending on how much you drink. Personally, I think drunkards have less, but let’s talk about your problems, a lot of motivational books would at this point tell you to either pray to solve them or do some yoga exercises depending on what business the author is into.
But me I will give you real advise- First, write your problems down in a book, have you done that? Now slowly read them to yourself in your native tongue starting from the last to the first, you will discover something great it is difficult! All this goes to show, read carefully that you are not a good linguist, and that is the core of your problems. Now that we have identified that all your problems come from been a bad linguist, so go to a language class, though I doubt that will help, because the type you can afford is taught by middle aged men with severe bronchial infections.
Does all this mean you can’t improve your marriage to this woman called life? No, there are solutions, for example, you can jump in front of the next speeding bus, but I doubt you are brave enough for that.
So what shall we do? Frankly, lam as confused as you; I confess I am actually useless when it comes to giving good advice so I suggest you get back to reading whatever it was you were reading before you picked this up, hey! HEY! Am just kidding, how do I eat if you don’t buy this? I solemnly promise to tell you something more important when next you buy this. For now though, live with her one day at a time, pray and work hard and she will take care of you. ###
– Chika Onwuasoanya Tobi
