There is nothing above the People of the City and there is nothing below them. The People of the Waterfronts have since realized that nothing is too outrageous that the People of the City would not be involved in it. Nothing too mean, nothing too divine, but the People of the City would deep their filthy hands in it.
The People of the Waterfronts listened as the National Assembly read out the riot act, slamming 14 years on whoever takes his kind for the pleasure of the body. Birds of the same feather, they read out, must not flock together. You must go to your opposite, if the fleshy enjoyment is your portion. The People of the Waterfronts wondered why such insane thoughts like sleeping with someone of the same sex would ever occur even to the People of the City-those species of life, whose appetite for corruption and condemnable attitudes are seemingly unimaginable.
It is true that they are celebrated for their deviant ways, but in a country flowing with beautiful, appetizing and tantalizing maidens all over the nooks and crannies, pleading, begging, beckoning, cajoling and practically singing songs of lust to the men-folk, how can a full blooded male with a member nodding repeatedly like an agama lizard that has just fallen from a tree and happily congratulating itself, ever dream of mating with an ape like him? Wonders shall never cease! On the other hand why should a delectable lady ever nurse the idea of caressing her kind, when there are ready lions eager to devour them and send them to and fro cloud nine? The People of the City are really strange people.
The People of the Waterfronts marveled at the fact that even Otumo-Ogugu their ancestor who lived in the dark ages when maidens were not yet as beautiful and succulent as they are today, chose to go in and out of the Maidens and never of the males. Why then should it be at this modern time when the sensibilities of the human species are supposed to be heightened and sharpened to greater heights, that a man will descend to seemingly enjoy a messy faecal orifice, not even of the opposite kind but of the same sex?
Angaladikibo, the Watcher of the Mangroves, was deep in thoughts like others, as they patiently waited for the appointed time to begin deliberations on how to find solutions to the interminable evil deeds of the People of the City. As he gazed at the Mangroves through the window, the Mangroves suddenly opened up to him and somehow he became wiser. Instead of condemnation, he felt pity. The Mangroves reminded him of the saying of a wise man, “In men whom men pronounce as ill, I find so much goodness still. In men whom men pronounce as divine, I find so much of blot and sin. I hesitate to draw the line between the two, where God has not”. Immediately, Angakadilabo stopped condemning the gays and the lesbians in his thoughts. Again, he neither lauded the National Assembly for their move against the same sex marriage, nor did he condemn them. He again remembered the words of a sage who saw a drunken man down the drains and said, “There go I, but for the grace of God”. A man who feels another is a deviant or a psychopath should not outright condemn such a one, but rather thank God that he is not. Live and let live, goes the old saying. They say you may not allow a bird to build its nest on your head, but you cannot stop a bird from flying over year head. Let those fortunate enough to be what they are, be happy in their state and also have the grace to allow others their space.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts got up abruptly. The appointed time has come to begin the deliberations and the ancestors must be informed accordingly. His left hand stretched forward and picked up the bottle of the local white brew, while his right hand picked up the little glass up, permanent companion of the bottle of the local white brew. He filled it and began his call on the ancestors.
“Odumodu, great ancestor of the People of the Waterfronts, he who dwells at the domain between the land and the sea, making it impossible for the People of the City to contaminate him with their presence, take and drink. You are an all seeing eye and you know all. Do not allow the evil ways of the People of the City corrupt your descendants. Let them stay with their evil.
“Otumo-Ogugu, Favourite of the Maidens, he who goes in and out of the Maidens, detecting the unfaithful ones, take and drink. We call on you to assist your co-ancestor, Odumodu, to check the excesses of the People of the City. Do not allow their corrosive evil influence dent the peace and calmness of your people, the People of the Waterfronts.
“Osokolo, another Favourite of the Maidens, he who pursues the Maidens out of the Waterfronts, take and drink. We know that with your support, we will overcome the evil intentions of the People of the City. Join your co-ancestors and help us in our deliberations.”
The Oldman of the Waterfronts refilled the little glass cup and directed all down his throats. He paused to allow the cold but hot liquid settle in his stomach before allowing the bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup to move round the hall.
Okolobo, He of the Creeks, was the first to raise up his hand. He was allowed to make his contribution since they have all taken a glassful each of the local white brew and are now ready for the deliberations.
“People of the Waterfronts, I greet you all”, Okolobo began his contribution. “At last, the Senate has named those guzzling the fuel subsidy, that controversial subject that is trying to light up the tempers of the trade unions against the government. So far so good, be it late or not. The Senate said a whooping sum of N3.655 trillion has gone down the throats of the oil mafias numbering about 33. That huge amount was consumed in just five years. One wonders what the total figure would be if there are records to check from the beginning. How is it that an important issue like oil that is sustaining the entire nation is left in the hands of a few oil companies for several years? Were they behind the non-functioning of the refineries? Were they the reason behind the exportation of our crude oil and the importation of the finished products to sell in the country? Is this subsidy the reason behind the epileptic supply of electricity despite regular electricity bills? Is that the reason for the decay in virtually every sector of the economy?
“People of the Waterfronts, what I really want to know is if there is no way to bring all those who brought us into this mess, to book? Is it a case of let bygones be bygones because we are all involved? If a small-scale business man like a barber constantly buys fuel at the present rate of N60 per litre and hardly makes ends meet, how will he cope up with perhaps twice that amount per litre if the subsidy is removed? Rumours are rife that the government would certainly go ahead with the removal of fuel subsidy by making it an executive decision. Fine, but let the consequences on the masses be weighed properly before going ahead to remove it. A good policy, if not well implemented may lead to an untold hardship that will blur the very good intention of the policy”.
Okolobo, He of the creeks, sat down after making his submission. It was Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts that got up to make his contribution.
“People of the City”, he began, “You cannot beat the shenanigans of the People of the City. Their foibles are derived from elsewhere other than this earth. Can you imagine that after several lives have been lost through the careful and well coordinated activities of the spokesman of the dreaded Boko Haram sect, Ali Sanda Umar Konduga, aka Usman Al-Zawahiri, a man has suddenly come out to say he is the father and that his son is mentally deranged? If true, then you can understand the senseless atrocities of the group that claims to be against Western Civilization, terming it evil. If a spokesman of a group is mentally imbalanced, you can see that the group must revel in incomprehensible atrocities. The father, Alhaji Sanda Konduga unashamedly came out after the conviction of his son, and instead of apologizing to the families of the several souls lost and the nation, he apologized to Senator Ali Ndume, a man named by his son, as a sponsor of Boko Haram. Can you imagine? Has he not exposed himself as being sponsored to play that part? If his son is truly mentally ill which hospital has he taken him to, before?
“Hear him, ‘Ali Sanda Konduga since his childhood has faced mental challenges. It is unfortunate that we now find ourselves in this situation. We shall therefore appeal against this judgment. We want to seize this opportunity to apologize to Senator Ali Ndume, the late Ambassador Saidu Pindar’s family and the entire leaders of Borno State for the pain and embarrassment caused on account of the purported claims of my son’. Odumodu! The man is saying that on behalf of a son he has never taken to any hospital and for a child that he has not spent a single night with under the same roof since he was born. So where is this love flowing from suddenly? Paid for? Coaxed? Surely, the intricate minds of the People of the City, passeth all understanding”.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts shook his head and involuntarily filled the little glass cup and swallowed all. #
Kenneth Amabipi
